End of Term Arrangements i) Term will end at 11.00 on Friday. No-one knows why this is, as only Mr. Flood's set ever do any work in the first three lessons. ii) Pupils will then be kept pointlessly waiting around in their form rooms for over an hour, while the teachers, for lack of anything better to do, make them empty their lockers. They will be forced to take all books home, as someone somewhere is under the illusion that a lot of work will take place over the holidays. Pupils may only leave their form rooms if sent to the other end of the school with a supposedly important message, which in fact reads, "I don't like this boy. Send him on a few more errands for me." iii) There will then be a House-room assembly, a Big School assembly, and a Chapel service, each of which will take about half an hour to convey the message "goodbye". iv) After dismissal, pupils must go straight home and not loiter in Solihull. Pupls may go home and loiter, and then return to Solihull and loiter, providing they have changed out of school uniform and can prove they have been home. It is forbidden to change in Solihull, as this is counted as loitering, and will be punished. v) Pupils may not take drugs whilst in school uniform, or during school hours. It is also forbidden to smoke, chew gum, busk, beg, hitch-hike, murder, pretend to be a giraffe, abseil, stand on one leg screaming "norg, blim and grumpet", commit adultery and breathe whilst in school uniform, below the sixth form. Written by Nick Westley